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Mr. M
11/23/2016 12:13:24 am
Great way to open your story. I'm glad you chose to not open with a VO. Your points are ok but I think they need some work. Two things stand out for me about Dennis. One is that he is everywhere, every single day. He covers sports, community events, and everything in between. Two, because he's everywhere, everyone knows him and he is probably one of the the most connected people on this island. He has a true connection with the people and everything on the island. I think those could be your opening points and then you can talk about how he got started. His job has also changed over the years in some ways and yet it hasn't in others. Those could be your last two points. You definitely need to interview more people though like a coach and maybe another community member or two. You need more of the community to say some things about him. Since this is a profile, Dennis is your central character. You may need to reinterview him to talk more about these points. Let's keep working on this. Leave a Reply. |
AuthorMia Matsunaga Archives
December 2016
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